Aug 15, 2007

Singles Group Pairs Farmers Looking for Love

Farm life can be rewarding, but it isn’t exactly “Sex and the City.” The rural lifestyle has been known to put a crimp in more than one social life.

That’s where Singles In Agriculture comes in. SIA, a national organization with headquarters in Stockton, Ill., provides a social outlet for farmers, ranchers and others related to agriculture, said Lindy Hall, director of publicity for SIA and a member of the national board of directors.

Elmer and Maria Mess are a good example of the success SIA can have pairing off single farmers, and the difficulties faced when trying to merge lives in a rural environment.

Elmer, 67, and Maria, 72, met about seven years ago at a New Year’s Eve party in Wisconsin. They danced a few times, but that was about it. Elmer didn’t even know her name after that first encounter and didn’t think he would ever see her again. But they met at other SIA events later in the year. By that November, they were engaged.

“It was just one of those things,” Elmer said. “We fit together pretty decent.”

In Maria, Elmer found many shared qualities. They were both widowed. Her husband had died in a tractor accident. His wife had died of cancer. She was a hard worker who stayed active. She had a nice family. She loved to dance.

She also had quite a history, he learned. Maria was born in Germany. She grew up a city girl in Stuttgart, though she spent many nights in a basement or on her uncle’s farm when she was young and Allied bombs were falling. When she was 21, she married a U.S. serviceman and moved to America.

She still visits Germany fairly frequently, and even brings Elmer along. They were in Germany on Sept. 11, 2001, when the World Trade Center was destroyed. It took them a couple weeks to get back to the United States, he said.

They got married five years ago, but moving in together wasn’t so simple. Maria lived on a farm in Nebraska, a nine-hour drive from Elmer’s farm in Davenport, Iowa, his home since he was 5 years old. Her decision to move in with Elmer was a big one, and the first year was kind of rough, he said.

They both have four grown children, with 20 grandchildren between them. Elmer helps some of his kids run the family farm – mostly corn and soybeans with a vegetable and greenhouse operation on the side. Maria rents out her old Nebraska farm, which is mostly pastureland and corn ground, Elmer said.

SIA helped Elmer and Maria come together, and has helped other people meet, too, but the organization needs to find ways to attract a younger crowd, he said.

He’s right. SIA, which celebrated its 21st anniversary this year, claims to be the oldest agriculture singles group in the United States. That’s an impressive achievement, but it doesn’t seem to be attracting any new people. National membership has shrunk from about 1,200 to about 500, probably the lowest it’s been since the organization was founded. Members are getting older and more than a few have gotten married, Hall said.

SIA is in the process of rebuilding its membership and is trying to find ways to appeal to agriculture’s next generation. There are plenty of farmers and ranchers in their 20s and 30s who are single, divorced or widowed, and they just might be interested in meeting each other, Hall said.

There are 12 SIA chapters in 16 states, but there are plans for expansion. Hall would like to start a chapter in her home state of Kentucky next year.

SIA organizes three national events a year and dozens of regional events, including dances, barbecues, tours, canoe rides, scavenger hunts and other activities, Hall said.

“We have so much fun,” she said. “There are a lot of nice people.”

There’s even room for members who’ve gotten married. They can still come to any event and are encouraged to host events in their own regions, Hall said.

Elmer and Maria still attend SIA events and help put them together. For any organization to survive, people have to get involved, Elmer said.

“You’ve got to have people step up and do something,” he said. “You can’t sit back and wait for the other guy to do it.”

The next national event is scheduled for Sept. 6-9 in Halsey, Neb. To learn more, visit www.singlesinag.org.